The story of a turkish farmer of perseverance, patience and disciplined hard work in the pursuit of creating a better live for his family

He was born and raised in Sariyahsi, a little village 3 hours drive from Ankara. A village where the majority of its citizens were farmers working on vegetable fields to make a living. He was the son of Mullah Kadir, who, after surviving the first world war, devoted his life to serving the village as a religious teacher, shedding light on his fellow inhabitants. A population that did not have access to education or necessary human skills like reading and writing. His father forced him to drop out of school after third grade by claiming that he has the necessary skills able to read and write to survive. He was the oldest of four, two brothers and a sister. His culture taught him that as the oldest son of a household, it is his job to take responsibility for his family. He married at 17 years the 19-year-old Miriam, who, still to this day, jokes about “having raised him.”

They learned to fall in love after being married for a few years, and Miriam gave birth to six children. He watched three of his children pass away as infants caused by diseases and a consequence of his poverty not able to afford necessary medication. He was 5 feet tall, curious, sharp-minded, dedicated, and, first and foremost, hard-working. He struggled to carry the weight of a large family with a farmer’s income, despite all his hard work.

It was 1961 when the news hit his village about the recruitment agreement between Germany and Turkey, calling for guest workers supporting the economic miracle of the West. Neighbors and friends rumored about salaries nobody ever dared to dream. He saw a potential light at the end of the tunnel and applied on the list of volunteers to temporarily move to Germany. After submitting his application, the first action he took was to stop by at a library and buy a Turkish-German translator, since he wanted to be one step ahead of his fellow friends. Soon the day came, and he had to say goodbye to his family, leaving Miriam with his three kids, younger brothers, and parents to provide a better future for all of them. He had a particular goal. He committed to breaking the cycle of poverty. He would work hard, save up all his earnings, build a house, and pay for his sons’ education in Ankara and pass on the baton. He landed in Stuttgart with his relatives’ guidance in the pursuit of joining a very successful Car Manufacturer called Mercedes. During the day, he worked in the assembly line of building car components, and at night he shared his room at a hostel with five other colleagues in proximity to the manufacturing plant. He spent 15 years sacrificing his life to provide for his family. He missed birthdays, graduations, and watching his children becoming adults. He wrote letters to Miriam from time to time and would wait for her response for months. Yasar, his younger son, would write Miriam’s letters, a 15 year old teenage boy, becoming a man soon. It was time to pass on the baton, so he brought Yasar to Germany, provided him a high school education, guided him to apply for an apprenticeship, and support his father. 

Every year in August, I go back to this cute little house in Sariyahsi, a village 3 hours drive from Ankara. A house covered with rose, grey, and white-colored mosaic stones on a single floor and surrounded by grape trees. A garden full of fragrant roses, apples, tomatoes, and other tasty vegetables. Every time I hear the azan (call to prayer) from the mosque “downtown,” I remember how he would get prepared and walk in his uniform full of excitement to fulfill his ritual. After his prayer, he would stop by at the small grocery shop to buy two boxes of ice cream, pistachio, and vanilla. Arriving at home, he would proudly pick up spoons from the kitchen and serve the container of ice cream in the middle of the room. He would enjoy the excitement between my siblings and cousins sitting in a small circle around him in a room decorated with handmade floor seats. He had moved back to Turkey after spending 15 years in Germany, and he did not regret a single day of his past. He made the best of the opportunities that life presented to him. In the last few years of his life, his only aspiration was to wait 11 months for August each year to have all his grandchildren around him.

He is my grandpa Refik, who left these beautiful memories with his legacy after passing away in 2013. An inspiring story of perseverance, patience, disciplined hard work, a hands-on mentality to figure out anything you want, and the importance of taking care of your family has imprinted on us all and will hopefully be carried by generations after us.

Whether we acknowledge it or not, our roots make us who we are, and our choices shape the future human we are becoming. It is these small opportunities and options that life presents us that can lead to entirely different life experiences. Making our choices intentionally every single day, which will determine the imprints of generations after us. Let’s take a step back on this special day and reflect: 

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

How can you take a step towards your vision today?